The perfect storm
Phiiah knew It was wrong...she felt it in her stomach, but every time they made eye contact from across the gym it made her feel attractive, confident and seductive. This had been going on for weeks between the two of them, texting and talking on the phone here and there, but never face to face. Knowing that he was watching her while she was in Zumba, gave her a reason to make sure every move she made accentuated her curves. He could barely focus on his own workout at some points and fell into a deep trance watching her bend and bounce to the music. She was on her knees, legs spread and face downed to the floor when she turned and gave him a quick enticing glare. The look in his eyes when they made contact made her wet and she briefly closed her eyes, smiled and continued to move to the beat.
She was feeling great, and the pace of the class was just right. Some of that new found energy stemmed from deep in the back of her mind. Images of that young man gripping her 36 inch hips from behind darted through her mind. She smiles again and sneaks another look at him as the class ends. But he was gone, no where in sight. She shrugged it off and hit the locker room. She was the quiet type in public places and normally left people alone, although this was her normal routine she really didn't know to many of the other girls in her Friday night Zumba class other than the instructor so she didn't spend much time in the locker room. She quickly showered but she always gave her face and hair special attention.
She was a well refined 35 year old woman, her mother was native Brazilian and had her at the age of 17. Phiiah was five years old when her mother left her with her father. Her father was of African decent and lived Miami. She was a very beautiful, caramel colored woman with a unique figure that demanded attention. Her thighs were a bit thick for her size but they were in excellent shape. She had a very large bust, a very slim waist and stood five foot even barefoot. Her hair was black long thick and curly and her eyes was golden honey brown.
She walks out of the locker room and stops at smoothie bar as normal to grab a protein shake then heads for the parking lot. As she approaches her car she receives a text message and she hopes it's from him. She checks the message and smiles because it is from him.
[ I wish we could finally meet up and talk one day ]
She stops and takes a deep breath, she fears that her next action will be a regrettable one. She thinks for a moment and replies [ Are you still at the gym?]
[ I was on my way home, but I can turn around]
[Ok, turn around. I'll be in the parking lot, sitting in my car. It's a blue maxima]
[Lol, I already know what car you drive]
[Oh, really! Are you stalking me?]
[yes, for weeks now]
[ That makes me feel better. ]
[!!! Really, why is that?]
[At-least I know I'm not the only weird one *wink*]
Her heart starts beating and she grows more anxious as the minutes pass by, watching to see when his black Tahoe would pull into the parking lot. About 10 minutes later he pulls in and she opens her visor to quickly apply a little make up. He pulls in next to her and rolls down his window. She steps out and he says "you wanna sit in my truck for a minute and talk?" She steps out her car gives him a little smile and walks around to his passenger side and gets in. He gives her a hug and says "well, it's nice to finally meet you in person, It took a lot out of me just to man up and ask to meet you."
"Yea, same here. my situation is complicated"
He reaches over and turns down the radio "Complicated? How so? are you married?"
"No but I live with my child's father, just for the time being. Are you married?"
"I'm separated, we haven't lived together in almost a year now. But that explains why the texts and conversations are so short."
"Well I thought you were cute and me and him don't ever get along so I thought I might as well explore other options. Can we go somewhere else and talk. I don't want to sit out here in front of the gym."
Sure...Um where do you want to go?"
"I don't care, somewhere just not here and not to far away"
"I-ight, cool."
He starts the truck and they pull off. They talk and laugh as they drive around looking for somewhere to park and talk. Phiiah desperately tries not to stare at his smooth thick brown lips, and catches herself biting her own lip and hopes he didn't notice. Although he did notice, he just stayed a gentleman and continued the conversation as normal. They pull into a small park area across from a basketball court and park.
"so why do they call you tack if you name is Gerald?"
"It's a long fucking story. funny but I hate it"
"Oh lawd, now I gotta know. C'mon, tell me"
"Fine... I might as well get it out the way now."
He begins his story with a childhood memory of an incident where his brother would always trick him by putting a tack in his seat. One day he decided to seek revenge and get his brother back by putting a tack in his brothers chair during church and it ended very badly for the both of them. They both laughed at the tale and a connection was formed.
"So, how old are you?" She asks
"I'm 29, and you?"
"I just turned 35."
"you don't look a day over 25. you just beautiful."
She blushes and enjoys the compliment then looks down at her phone. he notices her attitude changed as she scrolls through the phone. Then she punches a few keys before she turns it off and puts it away in her bag.
"Is something wrong?, If you need to go I can take you back to your car" he says as he turns down the radio once again
She stops and looks at him and regains her train of thought. She looks him deep in his eyes, then turns to the window to think to herself for a moment.
"Hello? Is everything OK? he asks again.
She turns to him then turns the radio back up and says "nope..everything is right!" and she slides out of her chair closer to him, grabs his face and begins to kiss him with such passion he didn't have enough time to interject...he just surrenders.
Her smell drives him crazy. They kiss with such emotion. She wants him and he wants her. She can barely contain herself from climbing completely into his chair and onto his lap. He grabs her hair and pulls her head back, exposing her neck, then he kisses and sucks the most sensitive part of her jugular vain, running his lips and tongue up and down from her collar bone to her chin while gripping her shapely but jiggly ass. She's cringing from the extreme arousal, her lips quivering and her clit throbbing. She purrs with passion and he responds by pushing her into the backseat and she falls onto the seat even more aroused. she entices him to come after her by pulling her shirt off and opening her legs, showing him that she wanted him to take her right there in the back of his truck.
He starts to climb over into the backseat and begins to take off his shirt when she presses her lips against his stomach, stopping him while he was still standing over her. She pulls his shirt up over her head and starts kissing all over his abs, leaving wet residuals all the way down to his dick. She swallows him and places his hands on her head. His erection fills her entire mouth and she gags a little but quickly adjusts herself and sucks his dick like a good girl. He lifts his shirt off and watches his dick go in and out of her pretty mouth and grips her hair harder. She handles him well, taking him deep and using her tongue causing him to harden with each flick.
As she serves him she begins to take off her gym tights. He stops her and climbs into the backseat while holding her neck gently. She bends to his will and follows his lead. He slides his basketball shorts down and places her back up against the back wall of the seat, placing her in a rear position and leaving both of them with one leg on the floor of the truck. He positions himself comfortably behind her, still holding her neck with his left arm, firmly placing her in his control and she feels his solid shift throbbing against her pussy. With one hand on her neck and the other with a hand full of dick, he begins to insert himself into her. It was tight and hard to squeeze into at first, but quickly changed each time he attempted due to the rush of vaginal oils running out from inside of her until she and wet enough for him to slide right in.
She bends more, allowing him to have complete control of her. With her tights and panties half way down her legs and bent over the back seat of his truck, he strokes her hard and deep and she begins to scream out in pleasure, squirting a little with each stroke and her body language is coaxing him to go deeper and harder. Within moments she's screaming out "fuck me!" and he's pounding her pussy her like a prostitute in the back of a filthy alley and she's loving every moment of it. Phiiah moans and squirts all over the inside of her thighs and down his legs, motivating him to pleasure her more. He continues to go deep and grabs one of her breast and goes into a trance like state as he stiffens inside of her, squeezing her breast with one hand holding her hair with the other.
Her ass is thick and he watches it jiggle as he pounds her harder and harder, admiring the beautiful tattoos of butterflies and well drawn flowers flowing around her waist and up her left side leading into a beautiful butterfly chest piece. She was drop dead gorgeous and he was fucking the shit out of her raw dog, stoking her strong and holding her like she was a small doll until all the windows steamed up, hand prints of passion placed across the back fogged windows. Her breast pressed against the glass, his motion driving her chest to press harder and harder until she squirted. Her essences erupted like a pulsating faucet, across his shaft and down his legs. It turned him on even more to know he was providing this beautiful woman wth such deep pleasure and listening to her scream with such intensity. He couldn't take it anymore, the feeling was overwhelming and he was about to cum. He tried to hold it as long as he could but the pleasure only intensified, forcing him to blow all over her back.
He came hard and consistently for about 10 seconds, leaving her ass and pussy lips coated and dripping in his thick white jizz. She welcomed it and spread her ass, giving him an alluring look while he nutted all over her. She had gotten her wish, she had been fantasizing about him for weeks until she lost control of her emotions.
An hour later, Phiiah pulls into her drive way with a smile on her face but when she thinks about going into the house, that smile turns into a frown and she grabs her gym bag and exits the vehicle. She sighs as she looks around the house and begins to feel like she's trapped in a horrible place again. Her daughter Savannah comes darting out from the bedroom screaming in joy and gesturing to be hugged. Phiaah smiles and greets her with love and kisses. She carries Savannah into the kitchen to pour her a drink when Dominic comes in behind her and says "well thanks for letting me know you were home and greeting me babe."She responds with "You heard me come in, shit, you could have came and said something to me. Why I gotta come to you all the damn time!"
"I see it's going to be another day you come home with a damn attitude for no reason. All i said was you could have greeted me like a normal girlfriend does instead of just walking in the house like we are room mates and shit!"
"Whatever Dom, I'm not going through this shit with you today!"
"Going though what? I didn't even do shit! I'm just trying to fucking talk to you! And I sent you a text two days ago, telling you how I felt and you still haven't acknowledged that. You just act like the shit I say anit shit!"
"Why is it always have to be about you dom! what about me?"
"Shit, you tell me! I'm the one always trying to get you to talk or express yourself without it being during an argument. You express yourself well when you mad but I can't get an ounce of emotion out of you during sex or just plain conversation. So what the fuck are you talking about?"
"Whatever, fine!"
"There you go with that whatever, fine, shit again. what does "whatever" or "fine" mean? what? please tell me! does it mean you agree or the conversation is over or what? what the fuck does that mean?"
"It means I'm done with talking. Your never happy! I come home everyday and clean this house and take care of Savannah. I'm sick of you acting like I'm such a fucked up girlfriend!"
"Yeah, you do do that, and that's all you do. You clean, you do the clothes. But what about the shit I'm asking you to do, like do something with me, make love to me. I mean shit, kiss me with passion for once!"
"You don't appreciate me Dom, you don't appreciate shit. All you care about is me sucking your dick. that's all this is about!"
"I didn't even say shit about that, you missing everything I'm saying and focusing on that bullshit just to gain ground. I'm not stupid Phi, you do the same shit every time. I'm asking for companionship and affection."
"Whatever, fine!" And she walks away carefree. Dominic stands there in frustration once again and just shakes his head. He can't seem to get through to her and he cannot understand why. He wants to follow behind her and force her to answer hi questions but he knows its only going to antagonize the situation. So once again he has to live with his wonder and live with the fact that he won't find a resolution today either. So he decides to go back into his office and continue to work, things normally calm down a few hours after Phiiah gets home. They have not seen eye to eye for years now and these days things only seem to be getting worst. He refuses to let her stress him out but he cannot find the strength to let her go. He wishes he could get through to her or at least get her to tell him why she was treating him like this. It would have eased his mind to know something! knowing nothing was riving him crazy. She claimed she loved him but she never shows it and her reason for that is always inconclusive, never clear enough for him to understand.
As usual when Phiiah got home from work or the gym she would start cleaning the house then take a shower and watch her shows until she fell asleep. This was the daily process to include the arguing and distance between them while she was awake. Dominic didn't know what to do and he was starting to lose it. Though he loved Phiiah deeply, he was losing himself chasing after her. He spent most of his free time in his office preparing work for the next day and she'd either be in the bedroom watching love and hip hop, or basketball wives until she fell asleep. Dominic was a high school gym teacher and an aspiring singer. He worked during the day at school and spent most of his nights working on music or preparing for work.
He and Phiiah had been together for 3 years and things weren't always like this. At one point in time their relationship was them verses the world but that all changed when Dominic got medically retired from the fire department due to a bad knee operation. He was a good looking 38 year old black man. five foot eleven, very handsome and had a strong body. But there was something about him that made Phiiah lose interest in him and he had no idea what it was. It was driving him crazy trying to figure it out. He quit smoking because she wouldn't kiss him but after he quit she still wouldn't kiss him. He tried to communicate with her but she does not respond with motivation. She only gives him short brief answers. He's also tried to find common interest between the two of them but she never seems to enjoy or give 100% in the things he presents to her so now he's just at the point of letting go...But they have a child.
He just takes it one day at a time and hopes for the best. Though today he's more upset than normal. He has watched this daily trend between them go on for months now and he wants answers. So in the midst of his frustration he decideds to write down his emotions and keep a journal. This way if he ever decided to leave his family, he could look back and understand why he did it with out any guilt.
Journal entry 1
September 14th 2017
I'm sitting here mad as hell again and listening to the same old love songs! I hate love and I wish I never knew what love was. It's been the bane of my existence literally. Damn, I need to change up this routine right now because I cannot live one more day like this. Phiiah and I are not compatible and we are headed for a disaster so extreme it will change our lives forever. I hate her for not loving me and I think she hates me for hating her because I show my anger everyday and I verbalize it all day long on most days. It's bad, and I know it's going to get worst because my resentment for her know is almost irreversible. Everyday she comes home from work, she has this fucked up attitude as soon as she walks in the door. It's been going on for so long now it turns my stomach immediately. She makes me feel worthless and unattractive on a daily bases. She swears she doesn't to the grave but even when I breakdown every little instance or situation pertaining to why I think this, she just looks at me like I'm stupid and gets silent. She never acknowledges what I'm desperately trying to show her like I'm speaking another language. It fucks with my mind and makes me wonder hundreds of different things like ; Is she listening? Am I expressing the emotion in the right way? Does she care or is she just acting? So many things go through my mind when I'm talking to her and the whole time she's displaying no concern and won't say shit. She just looks at me and eventually says "OK " or "fine" if she didn't storm off mad by then.
It's been this way for years now along with a ton of other shit that probably got me to this I don't give a fuck attitude. She made me hurt so bad for so long, I want her to feel pain now. Pure resentment, and vengeance. I makes me even madder to know that she made me feel this way about her while a piece of me still wants her to just understand and change. I wish I could just let her go right now, just up and walk away at this very moment. Sad part is we have a child and I want to get away from Phiiah so bad I'm willing to leave my child. That makes me wonder even more; is that a black man thing? Is it a personal trait? How could I hate her so much right now I'm willing to walk away from my two year old daughter just to relieve the pain and stress just so "I" can live happy. I'm so scared of my next action because I feel like I'm going to do or say something that will impact our relationship so hard..there will be no going back.
I don't want to cheat on her but I need some real affection bad. I want to feel needed and wanted and the lack of it for so long has gotten me desperate. I'm a creature of passion and without it I dwindle away. I had to except who I was in order to move forward in life. I need strong passion, praise, support and loyalty from my woman. This is me, and when I don't have it.. I can't be me and function creatively. This is why it hurts so bad, this is why I'm so pressed to just abandon the relationship, because I know the real me is dying trying to fix something that I now believe wasn't meant to be in the first place. Four years of my life wasted! Four years I'm never going to get back, only relive for the rest of my life and drag the next woman through.
I don't need male friends to be successful, all I need is my woman. I believe that a man and woman in a loyal and loving relationship can conquer army and weather any storm. I learned that at a young age and it is the sole reason I want love and marriage in my life so bad. I'm so ready to stop worrying about my relationship and ready to focus on my future and dreams. Phiiah has no interest in my dreams or creations. It's so bad, I can write about her and she would never know because she's so unattached to my interests, she don't even have the motivation to be nosey.
To be continued.......
emotional link to this entry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okGcksYM0N8&list=PLKnBr1WV4KS30xfSPlesjngbjJneFtVQB&index=32
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